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...and you understand...

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[26 Jan 2004|02:26pm]
hmmm i think im gonna delete this journal...

[25 Jan 2004|12:30pm]
fuck off

[21 Jan 2004|10:28pm]
bull ass. thats what this is.



teachers hate me.

everyone hates me :(

[19 Jan 2004|08:52pm]
i wonder how many people forgot i existed in the time that i was dead. i know you did. oh well i dont blame you because i sort of forgot i existed too.

i didnt go to school on thurday or friday because im a troublemaker and i slashed all the tires on the busses so they stopped running kind of like in jeepers creepers 2 only i didnt kill anyone in the pocess and eat their heads. i didnt have school today either because there was a snow storm last night so i had a five day weekend. i still want more time off school though because what teenager actually wants to go to school?

okay i have a question. whats the matter with me? why doesnt any even care about my opinion anymore? everyone used to come to me with their problems and stuff and they spoke to me and hung out with me and crap. only now i seem to have become invisible and a burden on the worlds shoulders. no one talks to me. only when they want to brag about something that i dont have or that im not.

like this guy dan said that lucy was hott and now thats all she talks about to me. and amara and this guy are sort of kind of going out and thats all she talks about to me. it really kind of hurts me because it makes me sad that they dont actually like me and i know it. i used to be happier when they didnt like me and i was too naive to believe it.

i still kind of like james. he isnt like other guys. he really likes girls for who they are and not what size bra they wear or how skinny or pretty or whatever they are. he listens and he's sweet. we were talking online the other day and he goes,
"your life matters kara. to me." because we were talking about how worthless i feel sometimes. he really knows just what to say.

we were at erins party a while ago and we were alone in her room, and i was just sitting on the floor off to the side wrapped up in a big blanket because i was tired and cold. he was watching me from the bed and i know this because i could feel his eyes on me if that sounds weird enough. then he got off the bed and came and sat on the ground under the covers with me and i had my head on his shoulder and it was quiet and nice and i started to fall asleep but james got up and left me because we heard casey and julie laughing outside the room in the hall because casey had dropped her pizza on the white carpet.

i dunno.

exams are next week which means i really need to study this week which means im going to want to kill myself by wednesday.

please pray to whatever you worship for me that i do well on my exams because i really need all the help i can get right now.

well, american idol is on now... i guess i'll be going now.

until next time, adieux.

[07 Jan 2004|06:05pm]
missed my bus this morning. it drove right past me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i could have died if i let myself. its all because my discman is satan, and i was trying to figure out how to get it to PLAY. stupid peice of shiat.

my tourism teacher said that my project was very well done. yeeehaw!

exams are at the end of this month. holy shit. im scared.

i wanted to do my science project on Omemee, but my teacher was like, "it supposed to be a TOWN, k-AIR-ha". HELLO!!!! Omemee is a town. A small town, but a town none the less. fucking idiot teacher.

i forgot about rehearsal yesterday at lunch for the play. oh well. im not really that big anyways. im sure they lived.

deeeeeeedededededededeee. nothing to write, nothing to write.

oh yeah. aarons party on friday.

james will be there.


[05 Jan 2004|06:24pm]
hahahahahaha someone dropped outta the play and i got meself a bigger part.

wooop wooop.

no pictures, no pictures.

[04 Jan 2004|05:23pm]

auror magic


[04 Jan 2004|05:16pm]
hi my name is kara and i really really really suck very hard


eheheh. i left my project till the last minute and now my world is crashing down on me!


this month is going to suck.

like me.


ya'll are so cute. im so lucky to know you guys.


[03 Jan 2004|01:32am]
Wow. I haven't updated since last year. Snort.

I supposed I should be in bed, asleep at this hour of the night. But alas, I cannot. I live for the night.

If I get caught, imma be skinned alive. :S

Deeeeeedeeeeee. My life is boooooring.


I uhm. I kissed James. -blushes.-

He's been avoiding me ever since, so I don't think he feels the same way.

Faaaaaaabulous. Fabbity fab fab fabby fab.

[30 Dec 2003|06:32pm]
My head is going to explode any moment now. I think I sleep too much and eat too little. I'm making myself sick.

"I feel infinite." -Charlie, The Perks of being a Wallflower

[27 Dec 2003|12:41pm]
Never leavin' my house again. My brother is the only nice one. He's gone and brought me a lump of cheese. Great. I've become ratwoman.

[24 Dec 2003|05:40pm]
I miss my Grandmother.

[22 Dec 2003|10:08pm]
Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
Both shall clear
All shall fade

[21 Dec 2003|12:24pm]
So things have gotten a little better recently! Waa00t. lol... um ... yeah. I've been having so much fun with my friends and shit. On friday, we decided to terrorize everyone and everything. Because we are trouble makers. After tripping a few people on the stairs at school, DJ and I hopped a bus.

We weren't sure where we were going, but we were going!

we ended up at the mall, eventually. We went and spoke to my mom, and she told us to go ask AJ when the next bus came that took us home. So Deej and I ran around the mall for a bit. We went into House of Knives and played with the swords. I pretened I was english. Bahaha.

we spoke to aj at toys r us. he was working in the electronic section or whatever. he didnt reckognize me or something.

Then we went home and watched Bowling for Columbine.

I was gonna go to Halifax with Aaron, but nuuuuuu. Our car had to break down and I couldnt get anyyyywhere.

Kurt said I was hott.

David actually gave me a hug!

Thomas came to our school on friday ... he's gotten sooo big. He's all gothic now, I want to eff him. Ahahaha. I saw him on the other side of the hallway and I started to freak out and scream his name. I ran at him, and he picked me up and spun me around. Only, I was wearing a skirt. But it didn't go up or anything.

I cant believe I actually wore a short skirt in school. Ahahhahahahahahahahahha. I thought that since im losing all this weight, I might as well take advantage of it?

No, I'm no skank. I'm just happy.

I'm down to 114 llbs now! I'm planning on getting down to 110. Then I'll stop, because for my height, anything less then that is unhealthy.

I'm going shopping today for Amara and Lucy's gifts. I'm going to get Lucy everything rainbow, but I have noooooo idea what to get for Amara. I should figure that out soon...eeek...

what to do! what to do!

christmaaaaas christmasssss time is hereeeeeeee...

i love greenday. they own you.

[19 Dec 2003|10:51pm]
It's absolutely fucking HILARIOUS how much I hate myself.

Ok life. I get it! You suck suck suck.

so. [13 Dec 2003|10:34pm]
so i found out last night that my best friend james had a bit of a one night stand with this chick i dont know.

what the hell. why didnt he tell me.

i think im falling for him, guys ... =\

[10 Dec 2003|08:57pm]


[07 Dec 2003|11:12am]

Just pick your favorite team, and a can of food will be donated to families in need.

Come on, it only takes a second. Spread the Holiday Cheer!!!!!

Haven't updated in a while, have I? [06 Dec 2003|03:24pm]
You know what show I miss? Full House.

That was a good show.

Um...what happend recently? My friend had quite a big scare the other day ... she was convinced she was pregnant. I'm not going to say her name, because I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. But I need to write about it. Even though no one here knows her, I still want to respect her privacy.

Anyways, she told me in Science class, and I spit out the water I was drinking. I didn't want to over react, so I clamped my mouth shut and didn't speak a word to her until after class when we could be alone. I pulled her to the side and started to ask her questions. Lots of them. I wanted to know exactly what she thought she was doing to her goddamned life.

She was beating herself up pretty bad about it, so I held my tongue. I tried to be supportive. I told her that if she was pregnant, I would be more than willing to help her raise the child. That's true. I'd so anything for my friend. She's so awesome and very dear to me ... I was shocked when she told me that she wasn't a virgin. She's the last person you would think would do something like that. She's very religious ... she's told me that she was going to wait until marriage.

But whatever.

So she said that I was the only person who knew, besides her mother. In french class that day, I went with her to go to the Health Center at our school so she could call her doctor and get the results.

I held her hand as she was put on hold. She was shaking like a mother. She was so scared. I started to cry, because I could tell how hurt and scared she was.

Her ex boyfriend, the one she had sex with, refused to some with her to find out she was having his baby or not. He's a bastard. A big huge fucking bastard that I am going to kill one day. He didn't even show any emotion when she told him she might be. Whatever.

So she wasn't pregnant. Her knees gave out, and I caught her before she hit the ground.

I love her.

I write her notes every day telling her how much she means to me. She is one of my best friends, I adore her.

So I have a part in the play. It's not a big part, but whatever. I'm in alot of scenes though. It's confusing. It's called The Flies.

I get to kill someone in it, though. Woohoo.


Midnight Madness at MicMacMall tonight! I'm so there. No tax at any of the stores! Christmas shopping, here I come!

I already bought AJ's gift. The new Blink 182 cd. WITH MY OWN MONEY.

Thank you, thank you.

[05 Dec 2003|09:59pm]
I am going to poke my own eyeball out.

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